Top 5 Dishes I’m Looking Forward To for Thanksgiving
Behold the infamous TURBACONDUCKEN!
I suppose this post is appropriate as we approach Fatty Week. Before we get into it, I want to make clear that I’m not a fan of turkey. I think it’s the driest meat that America has ever put on a pedestal. Another famous white meat that America places on a pedestal is McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets. But we all know that once they pulled the dark meat from the McNugget selection, McDonald’s had nothing to brag about and we all discovered In ‘N Out Burgers shortly after. I also don’t show any favor towards ham or meatloaf. However, honey-glazed ham I can tolerate.
Let’s get to it!
1. Stuffing
This one’s a given. There’s usually one day out of the year, two if you have leftovers, when we eat this stuff. We don’t know what it is or what’s in it. We suspect there’s bits of okra or celery, but for the most part, we like it and that’s all we care about. It is best described as an orgy of mysterious flavors but the taste is usually the same across the board. For example, Stovetop has turkey flavor and chicken flavor stuffing, which is basically the same thing marketed toward different demographics.*
*no actual proof of this
2. Pumpkin Pie
There’s nothing like a really good pumpkin pie. This is another rare dish that coincides with the season. I suspect it’s because Costco only makes it in November, and that’s the only time people think it’s a good idea. And it is! There’s nothing wrong with letting the pumpkin stay with us a little bit longer after Halloween until Santa Claus inevitably stomps on its parade.
I can seriously eat this stuff all day.
3. Macaroni and Cheese
This one is ultra rare because it is not sold in Stovetop form or at the local Costco. If you want this dish to be good, you have to actually make it from scratch, which is Un-American. The only ready-made Mac and Cheese is the one that comes in a blue box from Kraft. For that dish, the cheese is an orange powder that you mix with water, making it unsuitable (and disgusting) for the Thanksgiving table. Shame on anyone trying to bring this (Kraft Mac and Cheese) to the Thanksgiving potluck. The absolute best M&C’s have at least 4 different cheeses.
4. Cranberry Sauce
Again, we have another seasonal side. All I can say is that I pour this on everything and anything. Never have cranberries tasted so good only when dolloped on my mac and cheese, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and cranberry sauce. Yes I put the cranberry sauce on my cranberry sauce and then eat it.
5. KFC Chicken Bucket
This always finds its way to the table. If it’s good all year round, then why not offer it during the meal where Americans eat the most food? No one can ever resist this bucket’s advances. It’s basically crack. Whoever brings this, GENIUS!
What are your favorite dishes? Have I missed anything?
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Lechon.iciAlso, a lot of my relatives are really into baking, so all I eat on Thanksgiving is dessert, really (cookies, marshmallow pies, cupcakes, rum cakes, cheesecakes, fruit tarts, other experimental baked goods, etc).
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Nov 25 08 at
4:00 pm
I totally forgot to mention candied yams. Shoutout to Lisa. Please get better!casanovaruffin
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Nov 25 08 at
4:17 pm
how bout some real (s)mashed potaters, not the dehydrogenated flakes version that comes in a box a la betty crocker.d-rock
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Nov 25 08 at
5:22 pm
I just plain look forward to someone else cooking my meal and something not in my near empty fridge. Haha. I know I’m looking forward to pumpkin pie and blueberry cream cheese squares… oh, and sushi and poke! Haha, Thanksgiving in Hawai’i is very multicultural!Katlin
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Nov 25 08 at
9:13 pm
I have to admit, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of macaroni and cheese being served at Thanksgiving. It was never done in my family! In fact, macaroni and cheese was just never done.encI think I missed out.
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Nov 25 08 at
9:51 pm
i was totally gonna blog about the bacon turkey. damn it!swillzand just an fyi….making baked mac and cheese from scratch is a very southern thing. It only up here in the north where we think krafts is a valid substitute.
to enc…no mac and cheese on turkey day, is it too late to sue your parents for all they are worth and the unseen damage?
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Nov 25 08 at
10:00 pm
I’m missing my mother’s made from scratch meal this fall…The Clothes Horse
Anyway, I’ve linked you.
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Nov 26 08 at
6:17 am
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