Hilary Duff hates “gay.” True story.

11 Comments / Oct 22.09 / Etcetera, Originals / by Worthington

No, really. She hates the term “gay”. To be precise, however, I should clarify that she is a star in a series of infomercials designed at raising awareness at the misuse of the word “gay”. Check out Hilary Duff’s ad above, and view the rest at thinkb4youspeak.com.

I’m kind of torn in half on this one. On the one hand, I think it’s incredible (and about damn time) that something is being done to force people to face the fact that using the word “gay” as a synonym for anything displeasing is outmoded and pretty offensive. And “faggot” is a can of worms I don’t want to go anywhere near either, at least not until after we’re done dealing with “gay”.

On the other hand, my fears of America becoming a police state become more and more real every day, and having PSAs reproaching diction does nothing to alleviate my worries. But that probably has less to do with any real problem and more with my paranoia…so take that as you will.

On the third hand…seriously? Hilary Duff and Wanda Sykes were the best you could get? How am I supposed to take that shit seriously? More importantly, how are the rest of the ignorati that this is supposed to reach supposed to take it seriously?

Three hands…hrm. I guess I’m not really torn in half as much as I’m torn into thirds. Regardless, this is an issue that most people don’t really think twice about and this commercial should do wonders to change that. Sure, not everyone might change their habits of calling things “gay” overnight, but at the very least, people will be talking about it and arguing about and consulting their gay friends and figuring it all out. I, for one, am all for that. I should also note that I cannot be the one who casts the first stone…I formerly attended schools and inhabited environments where rampant use of the word “gay” was commonplace, and I partook. As much as I’m trying to remove it from my system and vocabulary, sometimes I slip…and immediately do the “look over both shoulders” to apologize to any gays in the verbal blast radius. Seriously.

Our only problem is…what do we say when the word “gay” is no longer socially acceptable as a parallel for “crappy”? Ahhh…this is why you read the Steel Closet. My Half Dozen “Gay” Replacements, in ascending order of usefulness/awesomeness, after the jump.

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This one is like a gimme. It’s like when you’re trying to quit smoking, so instead of lighting up you chew a hundred pieces of Nicorette in a day. Gotta ween yourself off somehow. Alternatively, you can try to convince yourself that it’s just like saying “gay”, but en espanol. But that doesn’t really help change the fact that you’re still saying something insulting, but with an imaginary word in another language. I like my first analogy better.

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If you imagined one of the progenitors and pioneers of West Coast gangsta rap pointing his 9 milli at you every time you wanted to misuse the word “gay”, you’d pretty much stop talking entirely.

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We’re making “fetch” happen, regardless of what Regina says. Ironically, we’re using it to describe things that Gretchen would say are totally un-fetch. Basically, using “fetch” backwards. My head is thiiiiiiis close to exploding.

Also, if you are a straight male, you can bask in your hetero-ness as we used this post as an excuse to put up a picture of Lacey Chabert.

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Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it? Sit your uneducated ass on the couch and turn on some PBS, you cretin.

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“Appoggiatura” is the championship word from the 2005 Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee, spelled correctly by the young man above, Anurag Kashyap. It’s also what I deem to be the hardest-to-spell word from the SHNSB from the past 10 years. I’m not going to tell you what the word means because, hopefully, every time you stop to say something’s “gay”, you’ll instead be all like “Oh that’s so…appo…appogee…applematic…WHAT THE FUCK MAN, WHATEVER, THAT SHIT SUCKS AND IT’S TOTALLY OVERRATED.”

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HEY-O. Steel Closet out.

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Comments ( 11 )

lovely post

yen added these pithy words on Oct 22 09 at 10:19 am

haha imagine what you could do with three hands…. x

rebecca added these pithy words on Oct 22 09 at 10:28 am

if i had any idea how to pronounce “appoggiatura” that would be my choice. since i don’t, CREST will have to do.

d-rock added these pithy words on Oct 22 09 at 2:17 pm

That’s so yay – That’s my Spanish accent.

casanovaruffin added these pithy words on Oct 22 09 at 2:47 pm

That commercial is so gay it’s not even funny. And so is this article. “Gay” doesn’t just mean “undesireable”, it’s original meaning (after happy and homosexual) was “so incomprehensibly stupid it made me shudder out of pure ickyness”, which is pretty much the reaction most people have to gays. Hey, they stole our word, we’re just taking it back.

gay added these pithy words on Oct 22 09 at 10:18 pm

People all over the internet really hate this article. I kind of want them to expound on their thoughts.

Alexander Worthington iii added these pithy words on Oct 26 09 at 11:46 pm

Same here. The dialogue doesn’t continue with only one person.

casanovaruffin added these pithy words on Oct 27 09 at 12:11 am

Right. On.
There’s really no defense for using the word gay negatively. it’s just a habitual joke made in ignorance or apathy.

usually i try to be funny or witty in these comments.

but as it turns out, i actually feel strongly about this particular topic.

Owen Javellana added these pithy words on Oct 27 09 at 3:46 pm

That’s sooo Jhey

Andrew added these pithy words on Nov 10 09 at 9:30 pm

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