I’m All for This
Betty White and Tracy Morgan…
or is it Betty Morgan and Tracy White??? You see what I did there?
Super Sexy CPR
A Canadian CPR awareness company is helping raise money by selling some lingerie. Wait, that’s not right. A Canadian lingerie company is selling lingerie through CPR awareness. There we go, and consider yourself more aware next time you have to give CPR in your “knickers.”
While we’re on the subject, if you ever have to give CPR, make sure you have consent from the person your giving CPR to, or else they can totally sue. I’m not kidding.
The Stringer Bell Music Video
Idris Elba, a.k.a. King Driis, a.k.a. Stringer Bell, has a music video for a song called “Hold On.” Get ready for Stringer Bell rapping, hoes in the club, and some other guy rapping.
The Snowboarding Toddler
Jesus, a snowboarding toddler?!?! This little girl shredding the slopes is 1 year old. Aren’t babies still trying to balance their heads on their bodies at that age? I’m genuinely scared for this baby’s life. But if anything goes according to plan, she’ll be more famous than pictures of cats and dogs on the internet.
The Lost Countdown – Across the Sea
“Every question I answer will simply lead to another question,” – The Woman
Well if that isn’t one of the main themes of Lost? For years, Lost fans have had their questions answered only to be mindfucked with two questions replacing that question. In this episode of Lost, we have an origin story of the Island’s two oldest inhabitants.
A woman in a red dress rises from the ocean and makes it to the beach. We can see she is pregnant. After wandering, she meets the Woman. She takes her in. The red dressed woman gives birth to one boy. She names him Jacob. She unexpectedly has a second one. She says she didn’t know so she has no name prepared. The Woman looks at the two baby boys and then takes a rock and smacks the red dressed woman’s head.
Lets flash-forward ahead in the episode and talk about what is to be a big discussion among the fans. The Woman takes kid Jacob and The Young Kid in Black to a river/spring with a golden light illuminating it. The Woman describes it as a light all people have but if they have too much of it, it will corrupt. Is it a source of good or evil? The garden of Eden? The source of our human souls?
Rihanna Moonwalk Fail
Please please please Ri-ri, stick to ponning da replay.
Who told you that moonwalking in heels is physically possible? You might as well have tried to drink a gallon of milk on stage under an hour.
Master of Yo-Yo Trickery
Has anyone heard of this guy, Kenny “K-Strass” Strasser? He has successfully talked six different TV stations into exhibiting his yo-yo skills. Except, he doesn’t have any skills to speak of. That’s six times he’s done this and at least six different news anchors who have to explain the embarrassment.
You’re an evil man, K-Strass.
Fast backward in time