Alternate Lost Endings
Hated that fucking Lost finale? Here are three other endings you can choose from.
Janelle Monáe Rocks It
Ok, I am ashamed to only of have heard of Janelle Monáe now. After this performance of the Letterman show I am definitely going to check her stuff out some more.
The Lost Countdown – What They Died For
Lets sit around a campfire and let me tell you what it is all about. That is what the second to last episode of Lost had come to. But when you get to the end of a show that has constantly sprawled out its mythology, making a “lets sit down and explain everything” scene is almost a necessity. Lost is a show that didn’t want to let you know the shape of the artifact that you are excavating. Each brush strokes reveals a completely new detail to the object that somehow fits into it but still leaves you befuddled as to what the object actually is.
So what did we learn this week? Jack has decided to step into Jacob’s shoes as the new protector of the Island. No surprise? Yes me neither. We have known since that amazing pilot episode that Jack is going to the top dog of the show. Jack has always known to take control of a situation.
The Lost Countdown – Across the Sea
“Every question I answer will simply lead to another question,” – The Woman
Well if that isn’t one of the main themes of Lost? For years, Lost fans have had their questions answered only to be mindfucked with two questions replacing that question. In this episode of Lost, we have an origin story of the Island’s two oldest inhabitants.
A woman in a red dress rises from the ocean and makes it to the beach. We can see she is pregnant. After wandering, she meets the Woman. She takes her in. The red dressed woman gives birth to one boy. She names him Jacob. She unexpectedly has a second one. She says she didn’t know so she has no name prepared. The Woman looks at the two baby boys and then takes a rock and smacks the red dressed woman’s head.
Lets flash-forward ahead in the episode and talk about what is to be a big discussion among the fans. The Woman takes kid Jacob and The Young Kid in Black to a river/spring with a golden light illuminating it. The Woman describes it as a light all people have but if they have too much of it, it will corrupt. Is it a source of good or evil? The garden of Eden? The source of our human souls?
Party Down is the show to watch if you wanna be cool
So you know that show, Entourage? Where a bunch of slightly good looking guys always seem to get what they want no matter what happens? Well, this show is the Anti Entourage. A show where all those hopes and dreams don’t always pan out. Oh, and the show is funny as hell.
The show follows the adventures of a Los Angeles catering company by the name of Party Down. We meet Henry (played to perfection by Adam Scott), a former actor that has abandoned his dreams and has decided to start work as a caterer. Unfortunately for him the crew is filled with a bunch of aspiring actors, actresses, writers and comedians all still looking to be the next big thing. While Henry had a dream, these people have delusions.
All this sounds a little depressing, and it kind of is, but the show knows how to be hilarious with what it has. The show takes these characters and puts them in a new situation every week. Every episode they cater a new party and meet and interact with a new set of characters. One week they will cater a very suppressed suburban backyard bbq and the next week they will work a young Republicans gala.
Conan, a Class Act.
I sat down on the upper levels of the Gibson Amphitheater. I had an expensive margarita in my hand because I felt the occasion called for one. I was wearing my Conan O Brien T-shirt two of my most foxiest and coolest friends gave me as a birthday present many years ago. You could feel the collective energy roam the theater. Any moment now, one of our generations most beloved icons will appear on stage before us.
What unfolded before us was Conan’s version of a classic variety show. Singing, dancing, great comedy bits, special surprise guests and of course Chuck Norris clips. Conan was so on top of his game you realize that NBC did screw the pooch by sacking his show. This guy has got wit and charm overflowing from his 9 foot tall lanky body, with plenty left to boot.
So here I was waiting for Conan’s 60 minute interview. Was he going to be unleashed? Tear Zucker and Leno a couple of new assholes? Well….not really. He maintained civility and kept true to his word about hating cynicism. Did he have his disagreements? Yes he did. Did he criticize Leno? Yup. But overall, I loved his attitude about having no regrets about his choices that he has made. He was cool, smart, and was open to the opposing viewpoints that were presented to him.
What the (bleep)? Threats trump Free Speech
So once again South Park is creating controversy. Something creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are used to by now. Except this time they are the subject of death threats by extremist Muslims. Once again, the South Park guys were trying to show the image of Mohammed on television.
A quick recap for those not in the know. South Park aired their 200th episode, aptly titled “200”. A celebration of sorts, it featured many characters from all of South Park’s history. They also brought back that old issue of trying show Mohammed on TV. The next episode of South Park was a continuation of the previous week’s episode. What was weird was that in this episode the word Mohammed was bleeped whenever spoken. The first thing that came to mind of South Park fans was that it had to be a meta-joke as a result of the threats. The ending of the episode had an almost 30 second long bleep section when Kyle and Stan were moralizing the episode. We soon learned that the audio bleeps were not jokes but something Comedy Central deciding to censor any mention of Mohammed. They have literally made Mohammed a dirty word.
There is no reason to use violence or threats of violence if you disagree with someone’s viewpoints. Muslims will tell me that the reason they don’t have drawings of Mohammed is because it leads to idol worship. It would take away from the worship of Allah (that is my understanding of it, please feel to correct and/or elaborate). And that is fine. I understand it. But when extremists say that people should be put to death for doing that action is wrong. Wrong. Just plain wrong. It is just another example of people using religion to impose and strike fear.
Fast backward in time