• I sure could use a “Quantum of Solace”


    There aren’t enough three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, and a large, thin slice of lemon peel martinis to fill the void. As you may have heard, the man every woman wants and every man wants to be won’t be around to inspire any new fantasies for awhile. Daniel Craig/James Bond’s double-O status has been suspended, and no one can say for how long. It’s like hearing Steve McQueen died all over again.

    I have to admit, I’m surprised at how the news has spread. There isn’t an outlet out there that hasn’t relayed the delayed state of progression on Bond 23. I’m only surprised at the spread though, not the interest. Where the hell are we going to turn for wish fulfillment and aspirational inspiration (sorry, I’ve been reading that biography of Henry Luce)? We NEED Daniel Craig/James Bond. It’s not just a matter of waiting. Who knows how many more movies Daniel Craig will be in for? I love all of the Bonds in different ways and for different things- Connery owned the room, Lazenby was blithe, Moore was hilarious, Dalton was cold and efficient, Brosnan was charming, and Craig is a wily cad that can handle any situation. And of course all of this comes out when “Sex in the City 2-Fucking Around in the Desert” is just ramping up its advertising to cackle at our misfortune. I’m so tired of seeing trailers of guys folding laundry and chicks falling down. I don’t want to see that crap.

    “Watch your damn mouth”

    image provided by Lauren the cartoon goddess

    There was a multi-viewpoint editorial in the New York Times about swearing. Not just swearing in general, but by “educated people.” The premise of the editorial was that it is incumbent upon “educated people” to know better than to foul their speech with such low-down, inappropriate filth. Not a new argument. I know that somewhere along the way I’ve run across someone reciting that quote about profanity being the failure of vocabulary. As an educated person (two degrees, thanks for asking), and someone who falls on the “in favor of” side of the argument (perhaps you’ve read my previous posts?), I have to ask- “what’s the big freak’in deal bitch?”

    “Yellow Submarine” for the new millenium

    Miracles- they’re everywhere. Easy to forget that in a world where Buzz Aldrin is passed over for a talentless shrew with eight kids, and everywhere you look and listen you have to find out some new detail about some nasty random tail some married jackass of dubious note laid into. Thankfully Insane Clown Posse is here to put everything into perspective and remind us that everything around us is a goddamn miracle. Like magnets, how does that shit work? Polarity? Fuck you, what’s that? “Well” nothin’ fool. Well maybe you should stop trying to explain shit when you can just stand back and appreciate it. Don’t ruin the miracle you dick.

    Blanche DuBois was just visiting: the “Big Easy” is anything but in “Treme”

    “Are you saying that New Orleans is not a great city? A city that lives in the imagination of the world?”

    That is the crux and last word on the subject for me. I’ll never know a New Orleans before Katrina. Three weeks before I was supposed to go, the hurricane hit. And just as the city heaved a sigh of relief over not-too-much damage, the levies gave way. I, and everyone else the world over, spent those next three weeks watching a bogged-down tragedy play out with no end in sight. It’s been five years, an unbroken chain of Mardi Gras’, a first-ever Super Bowl victory, and several nods from the entertainment industry since then. Now “Treme,” from the same people that brought us “The Wire,” offers not just a fine counterpoint to the damsel in distress New Orleans has been made out to be (or perhaps just a nice bookend to Spike Lee’s “When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts”), but a surefooted and streetwise narrative of a city that is always the main character in whatever story it figures in. It’s safe to say that I now have a better opportunity to understand and come to know the city than I would have had from firsthand experience.

    For fame, for glory…..Foursquare


    Social media does a nice enough job of helping the attention starved among us feel important and famous in some way(in some cases actual fame is acquired, and in some of those cases it’s deserved), but let’s face it-it ain’t enough. Sure, there’s a small passive-aggressive buzz to be gotten from the disingenuous “sharing” of updates and photos (Yes, Vail IS beautiful, and that job you have with paid trips and an expense account is SO amazing and you are SO lucky), and you can lose yourself in posting every mundane detail of your life (Please, if you are going to tell me that you’re thinking about what to have for lunch you have to follow it up with what you actually had, I HAVE TO KNOW), but where’s the quantifiable evidence that you are in fact “better?” Where’s the accomplishment?

    Apologies to our Lord and Savior

    "I'm dissapointed, but I understand."

    "I'm dissapointed, but I understand."

    It was a scant few weeks ago that the Steel Closet’s own JessCe posted a list of “Lousy Lent Ideas.” I commented on that post that I had given up drinking in support of a friend who had done the same. Well, I’m sorry to inform, while drinking wasn’t on the list it was still lousy enough to fail as a goal.

    "Me too"

    "Me too"

    So here I am, only three weeks down and down for the count. Like many people, while neither my friend nor I are Catholics, Lent seemed like a fine opportunity to test our mettle. Nothing like a little officially sanctioned period of denial to help steel your resolve, and we were in for the long haul, but just how long would that haul be? As it happens, one of my best friends is a minister, and was happy to give us the low down on the Lenten timetable. Apparently, Lent officially ends once Jesus has been laid to rest the day after Good Friday. So roughly around sundown of April 3rd we could knock’em back till he gets back. It actually wasn’t all that hard and eventually we didn’t really miss it. We both still went out, and at just about any bar we went to we found several supportive people that had tried it themselves, but had completely avoided the bar scene and failed anyway. Even so, we couldn’t help but feel out of place and somewhat unwelcome. For one thing, bartenders are, by and large, completely unsympathetic to your commitment, and don’t give a fat rat’s ass about making it plain that your flirtation with sobriety is a waste of their time. Fruit juice and soda? Coming right up, pussy. And by coming right up I mean I’ll get around to it, because your drink costs less than a bulk-bought napkin and so I assume you aren’t just a teetotaling faggot, but a cheap, no-tip-leaving motherfucker to boot. God bless, drinkslinger.

    All that glitters doesn’t have to be gold: a few films that got lost in the shuffle


    I don’t know what the guidelines are for Academy voters. Has this movie pushed the medium forward? Does it have something to say? Will it stand the test of time? Is it worth revisiting? Actually, I don’t think there are any guidelines. I think there are just a lot of Academy members with ballots sitting in front of them and the only question guiding their decision is “which did you like best?” Although, with the way things have shaken out I’m not even sure that is the case.

    By the time you read this the chips will have fallen where they may, and this small bit of speculation will either cast the results in a new light, confirm your suspicions, or be completely meaningless. Reality TV has shown itself to be largely, if not completely, contrived. The pretense that it’s real makes it more compelling. Why can’t it work the other way? Why can’t reality be contrived? There are some very tantalizing potential outcomes hanging in the balance. Not least of which is Kathryn Bigelow making history as the first woman to win best director, and at the same time besting her ex, James Cameron. Everyone likes a good story, and I’m sure a lot of Academy voters would love to help write this one: sister did it for herself!
    I saw “The Hurt Locker.” It’s okay, it doesn’t excel. As a movie, and directorial effort, “Point Break” was much better. Though should Bigelow, win I can’t say it’s underserved. There isn’t exactly a pack of heavy hitters going up against her. Remember when “There Will Be Blood” went up against “No Country for Old Men?” That was a horse race. To be perfectly honest, I don’t care much about the Oscars. What I do care about are movies that deserve attention, that can really mean something to people, being ignored and forgotten. Here are just a few from this year that would be worth your time:


    Fast backward in time

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