• My New Girlfriend | Dania Ramirez

    Dania-Ramirez-6

    [Check out the gallery here]

    Not uber-famous, but uber-beautiful.

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    My New Girlfriend | Thandie Newton

    ThandieNewton (15)

    My personal favorite since Mission Impossible II

    [Check out the gallery here]

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    My New Girlfriend | Zooey Deschanel

    ZooeyDeschanel (8)

    My New Girlfriend is new and improved with some mind-bloggling, technologically-advanced galleries.

    [Check out the gallery here]

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    My Very Current, Not-So-New, Long-Term Girlfriend | Lily Allen

    Standing in the pit of San Francisco’s famed Warfield theatre on Saturday evening, I couldn’t help but think back to two and a half years earlier, in the decidedly more intimate enclosure of 330 Ritch Street. I was at the Warfield to see Lily Allen, as were hundreds of other SFsters, but I already knew that as amazing as this show might be, it wouldn’t hold a candle to that one fateful night back in October of 2006.

    You see, that night at 330 Ritch (a Popscene night) so many moons ago was the night that I fell in love with Lily Allen. It was the third stop of four – a mini-tour of sorts – for Lily. New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles had sold out weeks before and tickets were commanding upwards of $200 each (no joke). Her SF stop was the only one without pre-sale tickets, and I arrived 3 hours early (!!!) to make sure I didn’t miss it.

    Sharing the stage with the ronstoppable Mark Ronson, Lily proceeded to tear the place down. The atmosphere was tangibly electric; not one body stationary, not one set of lips unfamiliar with the lyrics. Even Lily seemed slightly taken aback at the veritable tsunami of love that our city was showering her with. That night has staked a claim in my heart of hearts as being one of the greatest shows I have ever been a part of.

    That night, she became My New Girlfriend. And even though time (and the Atlantic) has kept us apart, her visit to the Warfield rekindled flames of shows past. More pictures of My Very Current, Not-So-New, Long-Term Girlfriend Lily Allen, after the jump.

     

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    My New Girlfriend | Leighton Meester

    My New Girlfriend is our internet girlfriend of the moment.  We kindly ask our girlfriends to please not break up with us as this is a long-term commitment and not just a one-time fling.

    This one was a no-brainer.  And yet, it was a very reluctant no-brainer.  I’ll be honest at the risk of appalling some of our readers.  I don’t watch Gossip Girl and I don’t intend to watch Gossip Girl.  I’m a pretentious Wire fan and my criteria for watching any new show is fairly high.  It pretty much has to be approved by the internet nerds first and “The story sucks, but they wear such nice clothes” Gossip-Girl-argument does not convince me at all.  But in light of the recent Suck-gate, I can’t deny Meester’s girlfriendhood despite the fact that she has nothing in common with our girlfriends past.  She’s Hollywood, fashion-conscious, and she kisses every damn dude on the set of Gossip Girl.  I’m just gonna say it.  The only reason she’s MNG is because she exercised some mouth muscles on camera.

    And sometimes a guy needs that…

     

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    My New Girlfriend | Malin Akerman

    My New Girlfriend is our internet girlfriend of the moment.  We kindly ask our girlfriends to please not break up with us as this is a long-term commitment and not just a one-time fling.

    I’d say that on the whole, John Cho and Kal Penn have contributed very little to my life. But the one vaunted contribution that they did make to my life is unquantifiable, like the enjoyment I get when eating a bag of peanut M&Ms or putting on socks that just came out of the dryer. Those loveable ethnic stoners gave me Liane, the incredibly hot wife of the hideous Bible-thumping swinger Freakshow from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.

    I’m talking, of course, about Malin Akerman, the Canadian-Swedish bombshell that’s making comic book nerds everywhere lament their long-guarded virginity as Laurie Jupiter (aka Silk Spectre II) in the new Watchmen film. I like to think that I have a real, legitimate, actual shot at being Malin’s boyfriend because (A) I’m a comic book nerd and read Watchmen ages ago and loved it and (B) I liked her in Harold and Kumar and it wasn’t just because she rocked out with her knockers out. I have as much chance of being her boyfriend as Jimmy Fallon has at being funny*. Which is to say…sliiiiiiiimmmmmm. Better than none, eh?

    But I don’t care. Meatballs, flat-pack furniture, Malin Akerman…is there anything that Sweden produces that isn’t awesome? I don’t think so. More of the future ex-Mrs. Worthington after the jump.

     

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    My New Girlfriend | Summer Glau

    My New Girlfriend is our internet girlfriend of the moment.  We kindly ask our girlfriends to please not break up with us as this is a long-term commitment and not just a one-time fling.

    Summer Glau

    In true internet nerd fashion and what seems to be the coinciding of the holiday that is “The Watchmen Premiere,” we have declared Summer Glau our new girlfriend.  After seeing her at WonderCon, we were sure that we wanted to make her our next babymama.  What can’t she do?  She can act, dance, shoot a gun, and pick wildly popular sci-fi shows that the interweb goes crazy for.

    So I guess all we can say is… Please proceed to our bedroom immediately.

    Summer Glau

     

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