• Happy Friday Ya’ll!!!

    FridayBernieMac

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    Happy Friday Ya’ll!!!

    HappyFridayKitchen

    Happy Halloween Eve!

    Or my personal favorite name of the holiday…”Yomamaween…Eve.”

    I really just wanted to use the word “Yomamaween.”

    Happy Yomamaween!

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    The Fast and the Furious Fridays: Tokyo Mater

    The movie is old news now, but The Fast and The Furious is still strong in our hearts. We found this Disney version of Tokyo Drift.

    This will have to do until the rumored 5th installment comes into fruition.

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    The Fast and the Furious Fridays Presents: Fast & Furious Friday

    No, I’m not kidding. No, it’s not a joke. And yes, it really is happening.

    I am an unabashed, unwavering, inexplicably loyal fan of the 21st century’s first true cinema classic: 2001’s The Fast and the Furious. Those were simpler times for me, a youngster torn by the throes of traditional high school anxiety, wishing and working to earn a carbon-fueled chariot to escape the trappings of nerd-dom and datelessness.

    TFATF is, indeed, the uncanny doppelganger of my 15-year-old self, and we shared much the same in common: gaudy colors and tacky accessories, ungainly and crass dialogue, the copious belching of noxious fumes. But at our cores, we also shared some notably admirable qualities; We were driven, we had a chip on our shoulder, and we let nothing stand in our way.

    We were fast. We were furious.

    So it is with those fond memories in mind that I stand here almost ten years later, on the other side of the tracks, a quarter of a mile down the road. Who knows if we’ve matured. Who knows if we’re any wiser, if we bring anything new to the proverbial table. I’m more than a few years removed from high school, but the winding road of life is more non-linear than ever.

    But in these uncertain times, we cling to the familiar; to the places, the things, and the faces that we know have shown their worth and proven their value over time. We embrace the new model because there was nothing wrong with the original parts.

    So escape. Temporarily let go of your tether to the rat race. Don’t just stand by your life; race it. With Nos. The big ones. Live your life a quarter mile at a time. For those ten seconds or less, you’re free.

    Fast & Furious opens today at a theatre near you. Witness the second coming of the greatest racing/undercover cop film franchise starring Vin Diesel and Paul Walker EVER.

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    The Fast and The Furious Fridays: Unseen F&F footage!

    Courtesy of Trailer Addicts, we’ve got a savvy new clip from the upcoming, undoubtedly Academy Award-winning, trash talking, street racing thriller Fast & Furious. Not that anyone but me cares, but it looks like while Brian’s sticking to his guns (a right hand drive Nissan GT-R R34, albeit in a newer, bluer color scheme), Dom’s opting for a new slab of all-American iron in a matte silver Chevelle SS.

    April 3 is NEXT WEEK. I’m revved up, and all my pistons are firing. And no, I haven’t run out of automotive puns yet.

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    The Fast And The Furious Fridays

    The day of reckoning is nigh. The moment the world has waited for for eight long years is finally almost upon us. A collection of Hollywood’s greatest thespians and the world’s fastest, furiousest cars onscreen, reunited at last. I’m talking, of course, about the April 4 release of Fast and Furious.

    I’ve talked a little bit before about my serious unhealthy obsession with the awful dialogue and the import riceburners of the first film, The Fast and the Furious, but I’ve never been wholly satisfied with its sequels. 2Fast 2Furious was about as stupid as its title made it sound (which is saying something) and TFATF: Tokyo Drift was…well, it was somewhat believable and the dialogue was bearable. Which is NOT what I want to see from the acclaimed TFATF franchise.

    Cheesy one-liners, poorly choreographed races, “acting”, scantily clad women dancing to shitty rap and even worse rock music are what I expect. Who knows if this newest iteration will deliver, but at the very least, I get to watch Vin Diesel and Paul Walker blow shit up and talk like goons for an hour and a half. Which, if you think about it, is what made Arnold, Sylvester, Segal, and Snipes so popular back in the day.

    So every Friday up until it’s release, I’m going to be posting laughable clips from the original The Fast and the Furious to get us all geared up for the action. The Steel Crew’s shifting into high gear. We’re ready to roll. And, you know, do more stuff that involves automotive puns. Enjoy.

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    How to Stand By Your Car v.TFATF Fridays

    You’ll have to pardon my absence this week. I caught a bit of a bug while back in L.A. and it’s been sidelining me the whole week. I couldn’t even look at my computer for long periods of time, nevermind waking up at 3AM to join the nutjobs waiting in line for Comme Des Garcons for H&M.

    But to make it up to you, our loyal readers, we decided to celebrate my return to Blogdom with another installment of…yes, you guessed it…THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS FRIDAYS.

    Fist-pumping, petrol-fueled pizzazz after the jump.

     

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    Fast backward in time

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