• Your Audition’s Secret Weapon [Rehersel]
• Meet the new richest person in the world [Yahoo Finance]
• WWJJD — What Would Jenny Jones Do? [Urlesque]
• How to get the girl in the digital age [Afrojacks]
• Hidden Tragedies Behind Five Classic Superheroes [Gunaxin]
• 5 Reasons Why The MacGruber Movie Will Be Very Funny [Unreality Mag]

“Natalie you are a badass bitch (hell yeah)”

[Check out the gallery here]

It’s a sad truth of life. People break up and sometimes neither party wants to be the one to cut the final ties. There is a book (and a website!) that is compiled of memoirs that are condensed into only six words. In that tradition I have made a list of six word lines guaranteed to end a relationship. You’re welcome.

Be glad there’s no golf clubs.

You kinda laugh like Fran Dresher.

You’re about as interesting as lint.

UPS guy dropped off your bra.

Pregnant?! We haven’t had sex recently…

It is me, or the X-box.

Why can’t you wear makeup anymore?

Liked you. Loved you. Leaving you.

You. Me. Over it. Ta ta.

I want less “we” more “me”

Steak and Shake? Yeah right, cheapo.

Any fish is better than you.

My roommate had your lucky boxers.

In a box to the left *thanks Beyonce

Can’t continue to imagine movie stars.

The terrible truth of it is yes; breaking up is hard to do. But so is staying in a relationship with someone who calls their member “Love Thunder” (Hell hath no fury, right Jeremy Thomas?) If you can imagine yourself saying any of these to your other half then go ahead, call them up and cut that tie. Or text, tweet or post it on their wall since it will be way under one hundred and forty characters.

To start this of, this is not a debate of whether or not video games are a legitimate art form. They are. No if, and’s or but’s about it. Whether it features great character design, amazing 3D environments, amazing blocky 2D environments or really cool mind bending puzzles, video games are a great creative outlet for its creators.

This is to talk about the amazing experience I had playing Heavy Rain. This is not our video games of the ‘80’s. It is an interactive cinematic experience. This is a game that doesn’t just let you play as a character but also lets you act as the director of the game. Heavy Rain takes place in an unnamed city that experiences heavy downfall. You play as four different characters all following the trail of a serial killer on the loose known as the Origami Killer. There is Ethan, a man whose son is the next target of the killer and must go through trials and tests set up by the killer in order to save him. We have Norman, a drug addicted FBI profiler with a set of augmented reality glasses that allows him to rapidly investigate scenes (which is really cool looking.) There is Scott who is a private investigator also looking for the killer and Madison, a journalist who gets involved in the story.

What makes the game so damn interesting is the series of choices and quick time events that affect the story of the game. Through out the game, you are constantly forced to make different decisions. There are also fight sequences that require to quickly press buttons that appear on the screen. Sometimes you make a choice that completely changes the course of the story or in a tense fight, you don’t press the buttons that is required of you which leads to a different outcome which leads to different consequences. A quick search of the different endings on Youtube show me events that I never saw.

What is truly great is that the game lets you make whatever choice you want. There is no “game over” screen in this game. It truly lets you decided the fate and story of the people. Do you want to be a righteous person? Do you care about one character more than the other? Are you a sadistic depressed fuck that wants to ruin everyone’s lives? Are you tough enough to make the tough choices? That to me was the greatest part of the game. The choices aren’t all just “this is good/this is bad” type of choices. They can be really tough moral choices that have no clear right or wrong. It is just a tough moral choice that you will have to live with. Yes, it is bad enough when life throws you a curveball like that, but when an “entertainment” device is making you think of the moral fiber of your being, well……..fuck I guess this is a new art form.

It is safe to say I am very much a girly girl. So it is very uncharacteristic of me to be into a Sci Fi (or shall I say Syfy) Channel show but Caprica has me hooked. There. I said it. The science fiction drama is set in the Battlestar Galactica universe. Before I delved into this series, I hadn’t seen a lick of Battlestar Galactica. The beauty of Caprica is no backstory is required since the events take place 58 years prior to what is shown in Battlestar Galactica.

Two feuding families, the Adamas and the Graystones, are at the center of the story. One of the creators, Ronald D. Moore, likened the show to 1980s Dallas. (Maybe that’s why I like it so much…) The urban setting of the show makes me think less of SciFi cliches such as outer space and spaceships and more about a technological future involving gadgets a plenty, avatars and robots.

The cast features Eric Stoltz, of Mask and Pulp Fiction fame, as wealthy technologist Daniel Graystone. Daniel’s wife Amanda is played by Paula Malcomson, whom some of you may remember as Trixie from HBO’s Deadwood. Esai Morales, from the films Bad Boys and La Bamba, plays Joseph Adama, a lawyer with ties to the underworld. Enough with the name and credit dropping already. You just need to watch this frakkin’ good show.

• A Trailer For A Trailer For A Trailer [Dlisted]
• Out Of Pocket: LA Reid Dips Out On Speech To Avoid Talks About Him Getting Fired [Bossip]
• Should suicide be forgivable? [SoulPancake]
• Academy apologizes for Farrah snub [CNN]
• ‘Surprise!’ Men Have More Free Time Than Women [Lemon Drop]

In a world of video games, CGI, special effects, and Disney 3D, I am often forced to wonder, are kids missing out on some of the more imaginative things like clay-mation, Muppets, and good old fashion cell animation? That answer recently came to me in a resounding, YES! Don’t get me wrong, I am all for pushing the effects envelope whenever possible but at times, it feels like movies and TV are simply opting out and just going with computers on everything these days. Will The Creature Shop be going the way of the foam rubber dinosaur in the near future? God I hope not.

Children of the 80s grew up with Jim Henson, Franz Oz and George Lucas, churning out special effects magic that was actually real and tangible. Armies of sculptors, artists puppeteers and actors worked countless hours to create entire movies in art forms now reserved for closeups and short segments. I cringe to think Avatar will be the death blow to this waning industry.  Now a days movies like Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal are just considered B-grade fluff, but if you take the time to consider the work behind them, they are still truly amazing. I am not discounting the work that goes into computer driven special effects, but I can’t help feeling that there is something to be said for the artisan like quality of non digital effects. It is something that kids these days really have no concept of.

We were weaned on Sesame Street, The Muppets, Fraggle Rock, and can I get an amen for the California Raisins? Imagine my horror when this was asked of me recently…”What’s a Muppet?” This person shall remain nameless, and no she isn’t Amish and doesn’t live under a rock and wasn’t joking. I told her she sounded like Animal from The Muppets and she just cocked her head sideways and delivered that zinger. Well, to answer your question my pre-teen friend…this is a Muppet.

"I'm dissapointed, but I understand."

It was a scant few weeks ago that the Steel Closet’s own JessCe posted a list of “Lousy Lent Ideas.” I commented on that post that I had given up drinking in support of a friend who had done the same. Well, I’m sorry to inform, while drinking wasn’t on the list it was still lousy enough to fail as a goal.

"Me too"

So here I am, only three weeks down and down for the count. Like many people, while neither my friend nor I are Catholics, Lent seemed like a fine opportunity to test our mettle. Nothing like a little officially sanctioned period of denial to help steel your resolve, and we were in for the long haul, but just how long would that haul be? As it happens, one of my best friends is a minister, and was happy to give us the low down on the Lenten timetable. Apparently, Lent officially ends once Jesus has been laid to rest the day after Good Friday. So roughly around sundown of April 3rd we could knock’em back till he gets back. It actually wasn’t all that hard and eventually we didn’t really miss it. We both still went out, and at just about any bar we went to we found several supportive people that had tried it themselves, but had completely avoided the bar scene and failed anyway. Even so, we couldn’t help but feel out of place and somewhat unwelcome. For one thing, bartenders are, by and large, completely unsympathetic to your commitment, and don’t give a fat rat’s ass about making it plain that your flirtation with sobriety is a waste of their time. Fruit juice and soda? Coming right up, pussy. And by coming right up I mean I’ll get around to it, because your drink costs less than a bulk-bought napkin and so I assume you aren’t just a teetotaling faggot, but a cheap, no-tip-leaving motherfucker to boot. God bless, drinkslinger.

To be fair, it wasn’t the lack of support and understanding on the other side of the bar that led to this affront to Christ’s suffering and sacrifice. My friend needed to get out of town, and as it happened one of our mutual friends was going to Shreveport. Now, where I’m from (Texas), going to Shreveport is synonymous with going to Oklahoma, because Texans only go to either of these places for one reason (not me though, I have family out that way)- gambling. You don’t have to be Dean Martin’s wife to know that drinking and gambling go together like football and ass-patting: it ain’t in the rules that you have to, but it’s definitely a part of it. Sure enough, I got the call. He’d been drinking. Thinking that I had no reason to carry on I picked up where I left off. Though it seems my subconscious wasn’t ready to let go.

I’m not an exceptionally religious person (no, not “spiritual,” that’s for people with long hair on Facebook that don’t like to get up early on Sundays), but I have a Hortonesque level of commitment. You see, when I make a mental commitment to something (weight loss, sex, quality posts for you fine folks) it’s all or nothing. As a result, getting back in the saddle again proved to be thoroughly disappointing: beer tasted like a soda that had gone off, and whisky’s sweetness was lost on my tongue because I hadn’t earned it. I had given in instead of sticking it out for the principle of the thing. Here I was thinking this was the perfect time to fall off the wagon, what with yet another Catholic holiday on the horizon, but these drinking experiences of late have given me pause like the beginning of Michael Jackson’s Super Bowl performance. I can only hope that I can find some peace of mind, or some sort of signal from above of no harm no foul (nothing too big, not a choir of angels, maybe just a dove with an Italian accent), because I’d hate to think that I could find no delight in a Cadbury crème egg come Easter. That is, assuming I get one.

"Jesus' forgiveness is limitless, but I'm gonna have to think this one over son."

Man…..rally round a brother.

Yes, she can: Betty White will do ‘SNL’ [MSN]

‘You just don’t look disabled’ [CNN]

Say my Name [LateBoots]

Wine Keeps You Thin? Go, Science! [Lemon Drop]

Is ‘Der Humpink’ The German ‘Trololololololololololo’? [Urlesque]

Remembering March 9th [Smoking Section]

Summer Time Is Around The Corner: 8 Ways To Save Money For A Last Minute Vacation [Bossip]

Great Achievements In Parenting [AfroJacks]

Irish “Plot to kill Cartoonist” [BBC]