• I sure could use a “Quantum of Solace”


    There aren’t enough three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, and a large, thin slice of lemon peel martinis to fill the void. As you may have heard, the man every woman wants and every man wants to be won’t be around to inspire any new fantasies for awhile. Daniel Craig/James Bond’s double-O status has been suspended, and no one can say for how long. It’s like hearing Steve McQueen died all over again.

    I have to admit, I’m surprised at how the news has spread. There isn’t an outlet out there that hasn’t relayed the delayed state of progression on Bond 23. I’m only surprised at the spread though, not the interest. Where the hell are we going to turn for wish fulfillment and aspirational inspiration (sorry, I’ve been reading that biography of Henry Luce)? We NEED Daniel Craig/James Bond. It’s not just a matter of waiting. Who knows how many more movies Daniel Craig will be in for? I love all of the Bonds in different ways and for different things- Connery owned the room, Lazenby was blithe, Moore was hilarious, Dalton was cold and efficient, Brosnan was charming, and Craig is a wily cad that can handle any situation. And of course all of this comes out when “Sex in the City 2-Fucking Around in the Desert” is just ramping up its advertising to cackle at our misfortune. I’m so tired of seeing trailers of guys folding laundry and chicks falling down. I don’t want to see that crap.

    Diddy considered to replace Daniel Craig in upcoming Bond films…

    …if by “considered” we mean “dreamt up by Diddy in a Hennessey-induced hallucination.” Despite the fact that Craig is contractually signed to three more Bond films after the success of Casino Royale and the blockbuster sequel Quantum of Solace, Diddy has poured his own money into what appears to be an audition tape for upcoming sequels – and because it’s Diddy, he spared no expense. The five minute video reportedly cost over $750,000 to shoot, and while its main purpose is to promote his new “I Am King” fragrance, it is also intended to serve as his calling card for future Bond installments.

    This comes not too long after Craig was quoted as saying, “…I think it’s the right moment for a black James Bond. If we can have a black US President, I think we might have reached the moment for a new kind of 007.” Considering how divergent Craig’s rough-and-tumble Bond is from Ian Fleming’s original molds, it’s not too far-fetched to consider another new turn for the world’s most famous secret agent after Craig hangs up his tux for good.

    Unfortunately for my man Puffy (remember when he was still Puffy? Okay, there’s your obligatory Sean Combs name-change joke), Bond has to do a little more than sip champagne with models in exotic locales. The “action” in the video consists of nothing more than jet-skiing (in slow motion)…and you can’t even really tell if it’s Diddy on the jet ski. It does, however, remind me of the glory days of Bad Boy Records, pioneers of the music video slash mini novela. Sorry Didds, but it might be a long time before you earn your double-oh status.

    Fast backward in time

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