WORDS BY KATE MESSENGER

I have allergies to all the typical stuff like pollen, mold and oh yeah, vagina? While listening to some trash entertainment news I heard something that for once made me think my dreams are coming true…at least partially. Most people who know me know my seething hatred for all things Twilight, and that I delight in dashing the dreams of teeny boppers heart sick over Robert “I’m the world’s worst actor” Pattinson. I have been saying for a while now that he and Daniel Radcliffe need to come out of the closet and date Adam Lambert… simultaneously. You can imagine my joy when I heard about this little whopper of a quote in the Details article with everyone’s favorite douchebag vampire discussing the agony of a photo shoot with a bunch of hot naked chicks..

“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”

I’ve heard some confessions in my life but that’s well, intriguing to say the least. I wonder who gives him his allergy shots? Let me add that this came in the “Beer No. 4” section of the article. Insert your own rhyming epitaph here. I think he just came out of the closet. About frickin’ time. This statement makes the photo of him looking like Crockett in Miami Vice all the more enjoyable. Will someone please airbrush that jacket pink! Holla at your girl, Pat. We’ll go shopping.

10 Comments / Feb 18.10 / Etcetera, Originals / by Casanova Ruffin

Happy Halloween everyone!

2 Comments / Oct 31.09 / Originals / by Casanova Ruffin