20 Things You Should Know When Going to the Mall
WORDS BY OWEN JAVELLANA
As I sit here people-watching at the Serramonte Mall in Daly City, a thought occurred to me: I must look pretty stupid with my laptop out at McDonald’s, but Starbucks had no tables and I like the smell of fries, dammit. Then another, more relevant thought occurred to me: The mall would make great material for another list of vaguely helpful, random observations.
1. I’m sure it says something about the laziness of today’s society that everyone goes out of their way to use the automatic handicap doors at the entrance, but it makes me feel like I have Jedi powers, so fuck it.
2. The difference between a “good” parking space and a “bad” parking space is like 15 seconds of walking. Don’t get an aneurism over a 20 yard difference. It’s shopping, not the NFL.
3. If you’re at a mall and it’s 10am, you’re either A) working, or B) very, very old.
4. While I feel guilty for ignoring people at mall kiosks, I think it’s the natural reaction to a stranger trying to make me “feel his pillow” or “wear his moisturizer.”
5. Any restaurant with “Express” in its name is probably not culturally authentic.
6. Don’t fool yourself. A Cinnabon is too huge to be a snack. And it’s not a meal, unless you consider “five desserts” a meal.
How many McDonald’s are in the U.S.?
I guess we could give you the number, but this visualized map tells the better story.
[Seen at TheDailyGreen]
Thanks to Mae for the tip.
THE QUEUE
- Christian Bale’s head being squished in new Russian poster for Terminator Salvation. Maybe he’ll be less demanding on set next time. | [io9]
- An illustrated guide to urban street vending in NYC. This is RAEL like Cassie’s leaked pictures. | [PSFK]
- Rayban’s new ad involves a giant ball of yarn rolling down San Francisco. [ABOVE] | [Prostituted Thoughts]
- Starbucks and McDonald’s are officially at war. | [Kiss My Black Ads]
- Patrick Wang has the new Neil Patrick Harris x SNL portraits up. Oowee Doogie. | [JuneSix]
McRacism: I’m Lovin’ It.
Not really.
I’m not the crazy activist type who gets all riled up when I see an offensive ad. In fact, I welcome some insensitivity if the laugh is big enough. But I had to do a double-take with this one. McDonald’s actually WENT THERE with its 365 Black Campaign. The premise of it is to celebrate Black pride and culture and dedicate 365 days to it, rather than just your standard Black History Month. It is more blatant than KFC’s 360 Pride campaign, which is basically the same premise but 100 times more subtle.
In theory, this campaign is a good thing and could potentially help further a community that has been historically disenfranchised. In practice, its genuineness just falls apart for a number of reasons.
Fast backward in time
