THE QUEUE
- GYT | [It's Your Sex Life]
- Lindsay Lohan’s India Documentary Is Here! | [Youtube]
- Your Seats in 3-D | [Seats 3D]
- Big Boi Debuts “Shutterbug” Single & Plays More Tracks At Def Jam Listening Session [Video] | [Hip Hop Wired]
- The Vampires Are Back in Town | [Holy Taco]
- Steve Carell April Fools Joke| [AfroJacks]
- Jay-Z & Russell Simmons To Support “Stop The Violence” Rally After 7-Year Old Gang Raped | [Hip Hop Wired]
The Humor Mill
Gamechangers Ep. 1: The Rant Writer
Breaking Down Double Standards One Botched Three-Some at a Time
This was like me, except taller, darker, and not looking like Gilligan..
There are many double standards in society. For instance, men who frequent the beds of different women are described as pimps, players, hunters, or slayers. These descriptors tend to be positive. Conversely, women who frequent the beds of alot of guys are called sluts, whores, hoes, or my personal favorite: skoochies (skank hoochies). I’m not sure how these double standards happen, but I have to imagine all it takes is a little common sense and self reflection to change them. With that in mind, I’d like to reflect on something that happened to me on Saturday that has to be a rather easy one to change….
I was at a charity Fundraiser thrown by my girl L-Boogie. I was dancing with these two girls and things were going swimmingly. They were both elementary school teachers and I think their kids would have needed permission slips to watch them on that dance floor. Just good stuff all around. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen two white girls drop it like that since Elisha Dushku in Bring it On. At some point in the night this interaction happens…
- Girl #1 mistakenly (or so I thought) touches my stomach
- Girl #2 immediately asks “Hows it feel ?”
- Girl #1 replies “Soft”
- I try to grasp for any words besides “Hello kettle, this is pot. I’m black.”
- Girl #2 reaches herself and says “Ya, I thought it’d be better”
Lousy Lent Ideas
WORDS BY JessCe
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Even if you’re not Catholic, Lent is a good way to get certain behaviors under control. Typically during Lent, one is encouraged to give up something that will be a pain for them to live without for forty days and nights. Most of the time, these things are bad habits, but some of them are just plain unrealistic.
One: Sex
Really? I know there is a movie about it and all, but are you seriously going to go forty days without it? Giving up sex for Lent may seem like a good idea, especially when you don’t get it very often to begin with. Or if you’re just bad at it.
The Humor Mill
Death Bed Subtext w/ Topher Grace & Kate Bosworth
The Engagement Watch
Did anyone else notice that everyone and their mother decided to get married last weekend? I guess the long weekend coupled with Valentines Day could have given most guys the perfect opportunity to sneak away and drop the bomb. I personally think I helped with my sagacious advice on spitting a little wine game. Either way, that’s all people seemed to be talking about last week. Even my boy Big Cat (who looks way too much like every one’s favorite Nerd bash-er) did the deed and he drinks double vodkas because normal drinks just don’t do the trick. People were talking about wedding locations, possible dates, and potential bridesmaids with loose morals. As someone who has literally been to 26 weddings in the past 2 years, I have narrowed the focus of my conversation to two things. First and foremost, I love talking shop about the bachelor party. It’s really where I shine. I have excel models built to optimize location, time, and activities based on criteria given from the bacchanalian party. I’m just nerdy like that. And next, I always like to talk about the engagement ring.
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Even my boy Big Cat got engaged…
Come on Son: A Stimulant, For Your Package
WORDS BY PETITE ANGLAISE
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As someone who grapples with literature daily, I comprehend the need to be visually stimulated…by any means necessary. What better way to achieve this necessity then with a good smut film, aka PORN. But sadly porn has become more and more of a nuisance. Featuring “actors” that are barely attractive, cursed with chipmunk voices, and awkward dialogues, visual pornography has become anything but a turn on. Not to be branded “a women out to outlaw porn,” this article is merely to educate on the positive attributes reading about fornication has over watching it. While most individuals are turned on by viewing sexual actions performed by others, the visual stimulant brought on by Redtube, Megarotic, or any of the other countless means of adult material doesn’t always satisfy. WHY? Because you may be a brain (no pun indented.) Like most brains, you can’t be easily satisfied by mediocre plot lines and sloppy penetration. Instead, a one on one, step by step manual on positions, movement, and skill level dictates whether you explode. For example, take a 3 to 4 minute video featuring KristinaRosexxx. The time it takes for her to start her monologue, undress, and turn her self on, you’ve already started looking for your next video. Now take an excerpt from a hardback (no pun intended.)
“I need you,” she insisted recklessly sliding out her mini skirt and baby tee, 6inch heels still on.
She moved closer to him, gliding her hand over his bulge, manipulating it’s ever growing size as she breathed harder.
“Now,” she moaned, hair flung back, finally ready to take him in.
Fast backward in time
